Recently, I saw a video on Instagram where a bride called herself a “grinch bride”. She defined herself as a bride who was basically against all things tradition on a wedding day. All she wanted was a laid-back wedding timeline and to have a good time. It got me thinking – this is what a lot of our couples are feeling as well. And when they come to us, many of them aren’t quite sure where to start with planning, and more specifically with planning out a timeline for their wedding.
As a wedding photographer of many years who specializes in non traditional weddings photographed with a documentary-style approach, I’ve seen so many different wedding timelines play out. So I know firsthand what works and what doesn’t to keep your wedding day feeling relaxed and personal. And I’m done with the gatekeeping! I’ve developed this guide to help you easily create your own laid-back wedding timeline.
Now let’s ditch the stress and get you a timeline that keeps things flowing naturally. No stuffy traditions required – just pure fun and genuine moments that feel authentic to you.
What Is the Typical Timeline for a Wedding?
Before we break the rules, let’s look at what we’re working with. Most traditional weddings follow a pretty strict and formulaic schedule. Something that looks a bit like this:
- 2:00 PM – Hair and makeup
- 3:30 PM – Getting dressed
- 4:00 PM – Ceremony
- 5:00 PM – Cocktail hour and formal photos
- 6:00 PM – Reception entrance
- 6:05 PM – First dance
- 6:15 PM – Toasts
- 6:30 PM – Dinner
- 7:30 PM – Parent dances
- 7:45 PM – Dancing
- 10:00 PM – Send-off
And there’s nothing inherently wrong with these timelines. They’re tried and true and work for many weddings for a reason. However, that’s not why you’re here.
Why Traditional Wedding Timelines Might Not Work for You
Let’s be real – that schedule feels pretty packed, right? Every minute is planned with photos to take, people to greet, formalities to do. Where’s the room to breathe? Where’s the space for genuine moments?
Traditional timelines often create unnecessary pressure. They can make your wedding feel more like a performance than a celebration. You could miss out on quality time with all of your nearest and dearest. Worse yet, you could end up feeling rushed all day and not actually get to slow down and enjoy any of it. And for what purpose? Just because you’re supposed to? No thank you.
How to Structure a Relaxed Wedding Day Timeline
Creating a laid-back timeline starts with identifying what matters most to you. Love amazing food? Make dinner a focal point. Can’t wait to dance? Schedule more party time. So take a moment to write down all the things that are important to you, not just on your wedding day, but in life in general. This will help you determine what’s going to feel most authentic and comfortable for you on your wedding day.
Keeping Your Timeline Flexible While Still Remaining Organized
Now that you’ve brainstormed all the things that are important to you, it’s time to start organizing your timeline. You want to keep things flexible and give yourself breathing room, but it’s also important to have some sort of direction and flow. If not, your guests will get confused, and you could end up feeling even more frustrated because of the lack of any sort of clear vision or structure. For example, if you have no idea when dinner will be served, you and your guests could get hungry or even worse, hangry. And nobody likes hangry guests.
The simple secret to a laid-back wedding day timeline? Buffer time. Add 15-30 minutes between major events. This extra breathing room helps in several ways:
- Things often run a bit behind schedule
- You’ll have time for unexpected moments or breaks from socializing to recharge and refresh
- Guests can mingle naturally
- You won’t feel rushed to get to the next thing
- There’s space for spontaneous photos
Avoiding Common Timeline Mistakes
Here are some pitfalls to watch out for:
- Cramming too many formal photos into cocktail hour (or anytime for that matter)
- Scheduling back-to-back events with no breaks or transition time
- Planning dinner too late in the evening
- Not accounting for travel time between venues
- Not allowing for enough time for getting ready – it takes significantly longer than you think it will
Building a Schedule That Actually Feels Like You
Okay now let’s revisit your brainstorm of all the things you value and enjoy in your life and would like to potentially see reflected in your wedding. Love going out to brunch together? Have a morning ceremony followed by Bellinis and breakfast beers. Sunset chasers? Plan your ceremony for golden hour. Enjoy listening to records together? Get a DJ who spins vinyl! Think a little bit outside the traditional wedding box, and you’ll quickly find things coming together in a natural way.
Making Time for the Things That Matter
Now that you’ve dreamed big, it’s time to hone in on the smaller details of your day that matter the most to you. These are things that are tangible and can realistically be implemented in the timeline of your day. But no matter how small they may seem, they’ll make a big impact on the vibes. Maybe it’s:
- A private moment to exchange personal vows prior to your ceremony
- Extra time to party with friends
- A casual cocktail style dinner with food stations and open seating
- Time and space for genuine conversations with all of your guests
- Plenty of time to enjoy the four course meal you carefully selected
- A specialty bar with a series of wine and cheese pairings
- A drag performer or a musical theater number
- A stroll around your favorite city streets
Allowing Time for Candid & Documentary-Style Photography
Natural, candid photos capture the real spirit of your day and pair perfectly with a relaxed wedding timeline approach. You’ll feel so much more at ease and actually get to enjoy the day instead of rushing from one staged photo to the next. But if you remember anything from what I’m telling you let it be this – a well crafted timeline is essential for your photos to look and feel effortless. Without any structure at all to your day, you’d be lost running around trying to figure out what to do next. Instead, work with your photographer (that’s us) to make time and space in your timeline to allow for those genuine moments to happen.
Should You Do a First Look? Pros & Cons
Becoming more popular in modern weddings, first looks are a great example of a way to help create a more relaxed timeline. But there are still pros and cons you’ll need to consider before adding it to your timeline for certain.
Pros:
- More flexible photo scheduling
- Spending more time with your soon to be spouse
- Calms pre-ceremony nerves
- Allows for more time with guests later (little to no planned photos needed during the reception)
Cons:
- Earlier hair and makeup call time
- Less traditional approach (but you’re likely not here because you’re traditional anyway)
Laid-Back Wedding Timeline Examples
Now every laid-back wedding timeline is going to look different based on your priorities and planned activities. However, they’re still likely to have a similar flow from start to finish. Let’s look at some real-world timelines that prioritize fun and flow.
Wedding Day Timeline for 4pm Ceremony
Important things to note about this timeline – This couple has no wedding party that also needs hair and makeup and group photos. They purchased extra time at their venue for more dancing and the drag performance (most receptions are typically a 5 hour contracted start to finish time).
10:30 AM – Hair and makeup begins, casual breakfast and mimosas set out
1:30 PM – Get dressed and finishing touches
2:15 PM – First look & couple photos
3:00 PM – Group photos with close friends and family
3:30 PM – Guest arrival, tuck away to freshen up and rest before the ceremony
4:00 PM – Ceremony begins
4:30 PM – Cocktails and mingling – casual group photos as they naturally form
5:30 PM – Find your seat for dinner
5:45 PM – Toasts from friends and family
6:15 PM – Family-style dinner service
7:30 PM – Dance floor opens
8:00 PM – Unannounced cake cutting, dessert station opens
9:00 PM – Drag performance, late night snacks
10:00 PM – Last dance
Wedding Day Timeline for Multiple Locations
When you’re working with different venues, build in plenty of travel time (my rule is to typically double the amount of time you think it will take).
9:00 AM – Hair and makeup at hotel
1:15 PM – Get dressed, final touches
2:00 PM – Travel to first look location
2:30 PM – First look and group photos
3:15 PM – Wedding party departs, couple photos
4:00 PM – Couple travels to ceremony venue
4:30 PM – Guests begin arriving
5:00 PM – Ceremony
5:30 PM – Travel to reception venue
6:00 PM – Cocktail hour, wine tasting bar open
7:00 PM – Dinner service, cocktail style – open seating
7:30 PM – Toasts
8:30 PM – First dance, dance floor opens
9:00 PM – Passed desserts
11:00 PM – Reception concludes
Tips for Keeping That Low Key Wedding Vibe
Here are some extra ideas to maintain that laid-back vibe:
- Skip formal introductions if they make you uncomfortable
- Consider a cocktail-style reception instead of assigned seating
- Let guests grab dessert whenever they want throughout the evening instead of having a plated dessert course
- Keep speeches short and sweet (or keep them to the rehearsal dinner only)
- Have activities planned for guests who aren’t into dancing – read some examples of our favorites here!
Making Your Timeline Work for Everyone
Remember to consider your vendors too:
- Give your photographer breaks during dinner (make sure your caterer knows to have them eat when you eat)
- Plan for your caterer’s serving style – ask how long it will take for dinner service to happen – schedule more courses if you want a more food-heavy wedding
- Ask your venue about what the contracted start and end time is and how much time your vendors can have for set up and break down
- Share timeline changes with all vendors
- Hire a day of coordinator or wedding planner to help facilitate the day and keep everyone on the same page
The Bottom Line
Your wedding doesn’t need to follow anyone else’s rules. Create a timeline that lets you actually enjoy your day. Focus on what matters most to you and your partner.
Remember: The best moments often happen when you least expect them. Give yourself room to embrace the unexpected. Your laid-back approach will help everyone – including your guests – feel more relaxed and present.
Looking for a laid back, documentary-style photographer to help you create the perfect chill wedding timeline? We’ve gotchu – set up a call with us here to see if we vibe!
